Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
