i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
