:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
