Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
