This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
