with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
