Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
