Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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