imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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