ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
