real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
