I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
