A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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