Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think my mom watched the whole time
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
