shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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