you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Found your dick twin last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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