i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
