Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize