why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
