do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can I color on your dick again?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
