if i can run in heels then i can drive
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
