he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
