You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
