why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Randomize
