I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
