"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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