just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
