the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize