i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
