remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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