@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
