You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
