You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
