There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
