do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You ate ashes out of my bong
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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