I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
