And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
