erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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