someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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