We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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