I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
