Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
