Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
