If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
