The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
