ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
