he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
