if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
