I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
