He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
