I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
