if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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