Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize