Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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