We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
