just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
