I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
