How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
