Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
