I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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