mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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