you guys were way drunker than both of me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
