Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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