Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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