oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have feelings that need drinking.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
