my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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