I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
