I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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